Tom, Dick and Hariprasad Gaitonde

Waking up to the reverent fragrance of incense sticks, was daily habit.... Hariprasad Gaitonde, my roomie ( of course not his real name !! ) , would stand by the window, almost in the buff , a wet  towel covering the bare essentials , hands folded, head bowed, ...i am sure he half closes his eyes ....just in case God lands up......two lit incense sticks wedged in between his index fingers....reverently  mumbling his early morning prayers. Waking up the heavens with this rhetoric.


“ I’m not like any Tom,  Dick and Harry” he used to say when asked about this wet reverence .” I am a devotee” he briefed the rest of us. 

The bachelor pad was just getting over last night’s booze bout.Struggling with a hangover, contemplating,  if the last swig in the bottle was still available for a quick morning round with contaminated tap water. so much for acquired immunity. The water tank probably had dead rats in it ...  in any case, the stale , re-heated “choley bhaturey” from “Pappu’s dookan” would kill the whiff of ..the whatever we were on and negate anything.  Not looking forward, to the working day, better to stay in bed and catch up on lost sleep.  In any case the frequent “bandhs” and “ andolans” had messed up the market….sleep was the best investment. Mummy told us to sleep well. There …justified.


Sleeping late, ...No ... Not HP, no he was a class apart...he was good to go, fresh ironed shirt and trousers, polished shoes, allprim and proper, by 0745 hrs .HP was an ideal son eligible bachelor, the perfect employee, punching in at 0759  am for two years at a stretch. Hotly pursued , by the enterprising marriage middle - men…the perfect husband to be.” No…..No he does not drink….no affairs….no smokes…no nothing…...devout..spotless reputation…God fearing… good looking…good company ”…the “shadi dalals” had a field day when they were touting HPs CV to second hand maruti 800 owing shady looking ,pan parag chewing prospective dad – in - laws .

“ Im not like any Tom , Dick and Harry”  HP insisted , when the rest of us  cronies suggested , that we play his family and negotiate and collect the dowry from his smuggler (could be drug dealer) prospective father –in-law… and split three ways . HP would not take the money . He was a devotee….HP would still get the girl ..his wife, and hmm …Kishore kaka the paan dookan chappie,  could play HP’s father …and we his brothers..…ok split four ways .HP was listening….HP was a good listener.

“ What if ..my Mother, and Father find a girl and fix an alliance in my village ?”  he challenged us with this very apt question…. “ Adjust bhai “…we replied …Polygamy was no problem if secrets could be kept, ….one wife in the city …one in the village…..HP was a zamindar one and only beta, a very devout beta….of course he loved us as friends…and he had such a nice heart.  ..do it for us  HP …do it for us ..please !!! …..“ I am no Tom Dick and Harry” ..he blurted out almost apologetically …the get rich quick dreams disappeared for the rest of us …at least for the moment.

This......was a long time ago.......a very long time ago …in fact “ Maine Pyar Kiya “ had just completed 100 days in the nearby Lata Hall.  We lost touch in a year or so

Many ,many, many years later…by the ghost of a chance or divine intervention… I met HP, in a roadside café in steel city, surprisingly , we recognized each other ….i had not changed much …..It had been ages years since we moved out following our own dreams..living our own lives . We bumped into each and wham!! …HP was now a conversationalist and bordered on being cop …., I had been taught by life to listen ” good to catch up buddy !! he said  …married  ?  he asked…  “Yeah” .kids  ? yeah  …wife works ? yeah …settled ? ..yeah looks like…middle management job ..huh ?  ..yes ..sort of…good group ? ..yeah …want some more tea..? …hmm well yes..why not ..you don’t get to see an old friend …everyday…. HP pulled out a pack of smokes..and offered me one…no I quit ..hey that’s nice  he said ..when did you start.... I asked ? ..he blew onto my face ….”Long story ..Long story “  he muttered..”  …lets go get a drink..he suggested ..Steel city was full of cheap bars…” I was shocked ..HP and booze ...?? 

 No I got to be back by the evening train ..i said.  ..|” oh come on”  he said …I had to turn it down I was not doing the pub crawl  any more ..”you’ve changed buddy” ..he noticed .”.you ‘ve dumped all this ? ” …Sort of I managed to blurt…” but you surprise me …HP “ you were this great devout .and vehment .teetotaler…? what happened ?

“ I am still devout ...long story … you don’t want to know “ he said ..He was right . In a nut shell …married the perfect woman , split , re-married , split..booze, a bit of drugs…smokes, kept job hopping …obviously booze and grass had done him in …in fact he was now living in …”you see”… he went on “ Im no Tom Dick and Harry “ people mess with me ”lifes been unfair to me “, … I had no time ..I had a train to catch …I did not want his number…No point keeping in touch with a total loser. “ Mail me “  he said  . “.sure thing..” ..call me … the will do will do nonsense , business cards…I jumped on a waiting cab, and slammed this loser shut behind me

…after all  Im no Tom Dick and Harry.

 The HP I knew as a roomie was not the HP I met….. they say much of life is lived by the choices we make, one would even question if righteous living did guarantee a good deal as life plays out . HP did seemingly make the right choices ..and he got a  lousy deal …well..bad luck ?predestination ? …..stupid choices ? ….I did not have the answers… ..may be HP was an exception….I did  not know and I did  not care....the rhythmic Steel City express …need a shut –eye …tired …grateful ...satisfied …redeemed ..yeah redeemed  and sleeping …. 

French Windows

" Hey come in and see my house ..." , he quipped, the guttural way he spoke, had strains of his descent, schooling was obviously from the western hemisphere ,I had just sold my bag of glitzy appliances, to this very affluent gentleman, and beaming , he wanted to show me the rest of his luxurious villa. Not that there was the remote chance of me making a purchase,...... well at least not immediately. Bounding up the steps, " the marble is from Spain...the pergola is from Italy" he continued breathlessly. " You could mistake him for a real estate agent " I thought, the child like excitement was evident and becoming a bit of a bore... "I 've got more work to do chum...cannot spend the rest of the day running up and down your overbudgetted ,overengineered excess that you call your..villa."

His blabber peaked, when he got to the commentary about his customized French Windows....obviously some street smart geek had sold one of his many ideas that never really went public. Whatever.... the assortment was impressive, tall windows, the glass segments were larger than the ones i had come across , the conventional arch was missing..nicely done though. In spite of its tomfoolery with symmetry...the segments...somehow looked pleasing...under the guise of being ..ultra modern. He pressed something ...and the segments...began to rotate and stack up...almost silently. Each segment swivelled on it vertical axis and , very very smooothly stacked up on either side of the wall...this really was impressive. This was no longer a window....it had turned out be a large opening on his wall...we stepped out ....and boy...this was awesome. You wouldnt figure out much as you drove into his parking lot, from here...his house was on a hill !! . You really could see the entire city below. I must admit this was impressive. Worse still..my millionaire noticed ..." I can see the whole world from here!!" he blurted out . Bah!! , there could be something more educated , that he could have come up wiith..he'd have gone up a notch or two in my rating sheet...but no, my man wants to see the whole world. You actually could see the city, its winding roads, traffic...steady pace, the Jaipur sun gleaming  off automotive paint , intersections, synchoronized...well yes impressive.

"Wait till you see the pool ..the master bedrooms...... my study" he continued ...Id better call in ...the guys at work would be wondering what was taking me so long on a "done deal " As he passed the foyer ...he pressed a inconspicious button..."Ive equipped the house with the latest security system he went on.. there are monitors in each room ...i can switch amongst forty five cameras".. the misery continues now who hadnt seen a CCTV ,  motion detectors aided security systems.....this chappies built a fortress...I suppose hes hidden a SWAT team in the basement too. " I can see any place in the house any time, talk to anybody in any room " He had now had the good sense to whip out a packet of cookies......hopefully not from the woodwork ...I did not care much where it came from and its not polite to check the exipiry dates. I risked the bite.

"I can see any place ...any place ..any time" the man was actually proud he could...I wondered if that was some kind of achievement,.. that was what this shindig was meant for. " Come to my study " ..we were soon there, my mind stopped taking note of the details.." .....see how good it feels in here " . Yeah it did ...( applause everybody ) . I can press this button and see the pool , or the kitchen , or the garden...would you like to go down and see the garden ? He wasnt waiting for an answer, as he bolted down the ornate steps.. " see ...ahhh the smell of fresh flowers..these are from  Shimla , these from Brazil...." not important not important..".you can see my french windows from here..amazing arent they ?" A panel under the garden table had a monitor..and my man was soon on the buttons switching from one view to another ..any place ..any time..

Omnipresence ...that was what this twerp was trying to acheive, no wonder i wasnt paying attention anymore and fat chance I ever would. At the flick of a switch he could see any place any time in his house, .He would never know what it felt like to be in  ALL  the places at all times. ... Call me religious , call me spiritual, theistically speaking, Omnipresence in Eastern Theism is a divine attribute , though much less mentioned and spoken about in Western philosophical circles. I do believe that Man yearns to be more like his Creator , and every existential belief system , seems to subscribe that Man could come close.

Yes ,we could bound up and down the stairs till we faint ...he would never know what it feels like to be in ALL the places ...ALL the time !!... 


Advantage :  Almighty ...Consolation :  mortal